BIG TIME YIKES!!! I fell off the healthy wagon...the skinny train...the fit boat....I actually managed to gain back the five pounds I lost and gain four extra. This is reaching a disgusting level.
To my four faithful followers....I will not let you down. I promise to return to fixing the fat and more importantly to return to the funny!
Hold out your hope, this will happen. Because...we are embarking on the next level...since eating well doesn't seem to work, I am going to move forward towards exercise...this will surely bring forth many a laugh as I am one of the most uncoordinated people on the planet.
For example, though this doesn't highlight my uncoordination (more so my lack of movement). I have two really bad knees. How did I get these bad knees? I have no idea, I have never done anything athletic in my life! In fact, I realized the depth of the bad knee when I lived in Scotland. My knees would hurt so bad it would feel like someone was digging knives under my knee cap. Then suddenly the pain was gone for a week over the summer, why? Cause it was a non-rainy week...that is right ladies and Gent, I get painful knees when it is damp outside. How old am I?
Wow. Anyway, I also slipped on a sock and totally bruised and banged up one of my knees a couple months ago. But the big fall, the fall where I learned the most was last week. It was one of the cold mornings here in Alpine. There was a thin layer of frost on the porch (naturally I did not think about this since I forgot it could get cold here). I slipped and fell right on my booty, what was most surprising about this was that it didn't hurt at all. My booty is so padded down with fat that it doesn't hurt when I slam it into a hard surface. WAKE UP CALL!!!
Okay okay, I am getting back on the wagon.
Monday, November 2, 2009
Monday, October 12, 2009
M.I.A.
No I have not fallen off the weight loss wagon, I have just been really busy. My brother warned me this weekend that if I don't update my blog people are going to start thinking I backed out of my plan and am resting in a pile of carne asada fries (yum that sounds so amazing).
My new job and extraordinarily long commute are zapping all my free time. But to re-cap: I am still pursuing weight loss with humor. This weekend was my first cleanse day. I ate nothing, except these small chocolate tablets called "snacks." Surprisingly they are good, either that or I have been denied real flavor for too long. So, during the daunting cleanse day I decided that my best option was to keep focused on anything but food, and to stay busy. So I decided to move from location to location every two hours. I started out at home, went to a co-workers house, went to my brothers where I got to hear about the BBQ he was about to have, I went shopping and played the consumer role in another venue besides and eatery, and I then went to a friend's house who was having a Charity Poker Tournament. I made it through successful. My mother was so proud of me that I did not cheat.
To congratulate myself, the next day (yesterday), I consumed 8 deeply friend pork eggrolls, a diet Pepsi, popcorn (with A LOT of butter), and peanut butter and crackers, yikes!
Don't worry too much I am back on track. I ate well today and had a lunch with tons of asparagus, complete with the after affect....asparagus pee.... and seeing as though we (co-workers) take bathroom breaks at the same time, I had to apologize to whichever woman was taking over my stall...It's only common courtesy right? You know, we should apologize for our smelly pee.
In total I have lost 5 pounds, who knows what those egg rolls have done, and well, my step-dad has lost 20. I am pretty sure the competition is over...now I just compete with myself. I have to be really strong this week because I already have two cheat days scheduled, 1) Potluck on Friday for end of training celebration, and 2) Friend's Bridal shower with Laotian food.
Until I write next...still hungry in San Diego...
My new job and extraordinarily long commute are zapping all my free time. But to re-cap: I am still pursuing weight loss with humor. This weekend was my first cleanse day. I ate nothing, except these small chocolate tablets called "snacks." Surprisingly they are good, either that or I have been denied real flavor for too long. So, during the daunting cleanse day I decided that my best option was to keep focused on anything but food, and to stay busy. So I decided to move from location to location every two hours. I started out at home, went to a co-workers house, went to my brothers where I got to hear about the BBQ he was about to have, I went shopping and played the consumer role in another venue besides and eatery, and I then went to a friend's house who was having a Charity Poker Tournament. I made it through successful. My mother was so proud of me that I did not cheat.
To congratulate myself, the next day (yesterday), I consumed 8 deeply friend pork eggrolls, a diet Pepsi, popcorn (with A LOT of butter), and peanut butter and crackers, yikes!
Don't worry too much I am back on track. I ate well today and had a lunch with tons of asparagus, complete with the after affect....asparagus pee.... and seeing as though we (co-workers) take bathroom breaks at the same time, I had to apologize to whichever woman was taking over my stall...It's only common courtesy right? You know, we should apologize for our smelly pee.
In total I have lost 5 pounds, who knows what those egg rolls have done, and well, my step-dad has lost 20. I am pretty sure the competition is over...now I just compete with myself. I have to be really strong this week because I already have two cheat days scheduled, 1) Potluck on Friday for end of training celebration, and 2) Friend's Bridal shower with Laotian food.
Until I write next...still hungry in San Diego...
Monday, October 5, 2009
Day 3 news and updates
Well I am entering day 3 of my diet/detox/cleanse...call it whatever you want. In reality it is the "I don't get to eat what I want to and I want to pout like a child" meal plan.
Interesting things that have happened to me thus far:
1) My ass was on fire yesterday, I will spare you the details but just imagine what can happen when you start to detox and you consume herbal pills infused with hot and spicy cayenne pepper.
Side note: I love the way people use the word "infuse" and "infused" when they are talking about food and alcohol. Pay attention to this, it will make you laugh every time.
2) My step-dad has lost 9 pounds in three days! What!! Crazy, impossible? no, he has an insane metabolism, it drives me and mom my nuts. So if men can lose weight just by thinking about it, why don't we expect them to be slender and thin, and return by giving accolades for a fuller female shape? Let's mix things up people. Opposite of the hyper-metabolism syndrome that plagues my step-father is me and my 1.5 pound loss. Right now, as my aunt reads this, she is probably mentally drafting an email to me that states "Jacquie, I told you that you were not allowed to weigh yourself until you are done with this detox. You need to stick with the program and follow the rules." My mentally drafted response: "Aunt Lauren, it is not my fault...my mom is weighing herself too...get mad at her first!"
3) I went to a party last night. I had to endure the smell of fresh baked pizza and help my friend with the chocolate fountain...yeah, not tempting at all. My snap peas and broccoli really hit the spot. Don't you hate when people lie to you like that. "Oh I will pass on that fresh baked bread and French butter, I am really full from these veggies." LIE! You are either trying to make yourself look awesome, or you are trying to fool yourself into thinking that raw veggies taste as good as something that is actually awesome.
4) Some of my detox/cleanse products make me feel high. Yikes. Despite the ass-fire problem with the herbal pills, I have run into a conundrum with the natural electrolytes solution. Mid-way through my first day at work I noticed I felt a bit high and out of sorts...I had just finished a huge water bottle with my electrolyte solution...thus I name it the culprit. It is a weird solution, there are black specs in it. I think it may be sand...but whatever, I will take anything I can get these days.
Until tomorrow,
Signed hungry and cranky in San Diego.
Interesting things that have happened to me thus far:
1) My ass was on fire yesterday, I will spare you the details but just imagine what can happen when you start to detox and you consume herbal pills infused with hot and spicy cayenne pepper.
Side note: I love the way people use the word "infuse" and "infused" when they are talking about food and alcohol. Pay attention to this, it will make you laugh every time.
2) My step-dad has lost 9 pounds in three days! What!! Crazy, impossible? no, he has an insane metabolism, it drives me and mom my nuts. So if men can lose weight just by thinking about it, why don't we expect them to be slender and thin, and return by giving accolades for a fuller female shape? Let's mix things up people. Opposite of the hyper-metabolism syndrome that plagues my step-father is me and my 1.5 pound loss. Right now, as my aunt reads this, she is probably mentally drafting an email to me that states "Jacquie, I told you that you were not allowed to weigh yourself until you are done with this detox. You need to stick with the program and follow the rules." My mentally drafted response: "Aunt Lauren, it is not my fault...my mom is weighing herself too...get mad at her first!"
3) I went to a party last night. I had to endure the smell of fresh baked pizza and help my friend with the chocolate fountain...yeah, not tempting at all. My snap peas and broccoli really hit the spot. Don't you hate when people lie to you like that. "Oh I will pass on that fresh baked bread and French butter, I am really full from these veggies." LIE! You are either trying to make yourself look awesome, or you are trying to fool yourself into thinking that raw veggies taste as good as something that is actually awesome.
4) Some of my detox/cleanse products make me feel high. Yikes. Despite the ass-fire problem with the herbal pills, I have run into a conundrum with the natural electrolytes solution. Mid-way through my first day at work I noticed I felt a bit high and out of sorts...I had just finished a huge water bottle with my electrolyte solution...thus I name it the culprit. It is a weird solution, there are black specs in it. I think it may be sand...but whatever, I will take anything I can get these days.
Until tomorrow,
Signed hungry and cranky in San Diego.
Saturday, October 3, 2009
How it all began
A few years back I swore to myself that I would never diet again. I vowed to pursue health and meals driven by their nutrients. This concept completely failed when I moved to Scotland. I actually lost a good amount of weight during my first few months of residence. I went from a mostly sedentary life of office sitting to a life of walking and exploring. Due to the fact that I did not have a car, I was found walking at least 2 miles a day, but more like 5. It also helped that I got a weird form of food poisoning within my first two weeks. I was so proud of myself, not for getting food poisoning, but for losing weight without really trying. I called my mom and had her ship over my skinniest clothes. I was sassy, skinny and living in a foreign country...not having to work and spending my days with friends and great books (I was getting my masters in Victorian Literature).
Once winter approached things moved downhill rather quickly. Having lived my entire life in San Diego, I had never experienced a "winter," with the exception of weekends in the snowy mountains. I found that there is a big difference between a warm cozy cabin in the mountains and a rainy, dreary, icy, dark five months. And that difference is 30 lbs. Yes, that is right, I gained 30 pounds during my year abroad.
Scottish winter days get dark around 3 pm. That was the hardest part for me. I can handle wet, rainy, and icy...but not 19 hours of darkness. Combine the darkness, the cold with steak and ale pie, and the dislike of walking on ice and you have yourself a weight gain fiesta! Not to mention bouts of depression, missing family and friends and not understanding why March was not the beginning of spring...the toll was taken on my thighs and stomach...oh and my face! I look like a balloon, my eyes are almost knocked out of the picture by my fast growing puffy cheeks.
When spring hit, I had already developed awful habits and though I was walking and moving, I was inputting more than I was burning. You mean Subway and Pizza Hut are not ways to lose weight?? What about the Subway guy? Oh, you mean he did not eat a foot long sandy with loads of mayo and cheese? He did not eat Doritos and cookies with his sandwich? Oh come on!
So here I am 30 lbs. and one year later. I spent the last week having to re-buy my wardrobe in sizes 12 and 14...I was an 8 when I left. What is the plan?
Well I recanted on the no diet promise and am embarking on a rigid two week plan through Isogenix...something that includes shakes, and minimal food, plus 4 total cleanse days...yes they are as exciting as they sound...you drink for two days...oh, and you get these things called snacks, they are not real snacks. There are no Doritos, or chocolate, there are some weird tablet that I get eat...blerg.
I am committed. I am doing this. Two weeks of a rigid plan is not the finality of this diet. I have 30 to lose, and I know that is not going to happen in two weeks. I diet until I lose my 30 pounds.
To help in the process, I have my mom and step-dad who are doing the program with me. My step-dad and I decided to compete to see who could lose a greater percentage of their weight. We are both quite competitive people so hopefully this will be the accountability I need.
I think I have tried every gimmick, plan and program there is. I lose weight rather quickly, but keeping it off is the big, and missing, piece of the puzzle. I am the "emotional eater," I eat when I am happy, sad, mad, surprised, astonished,. So this blog will follow me from initial weight loss, through to learning how to be healthy without jumping on the roller coaster of weight fluctuation. So join me as I take a hopefully humorous approach to trying to fix the fat...the actual fat and the fat of fearing 30, re-adjusting to living in the USA, being single, living with my parents and being 70,000$ in debt.
Once winter approached things moved downhill rather quickly. Having lived my entire life in San Diego, I had never experienced a "winter," with the exception of weekends in the snowy mountains. I found that there is a big difference between a warm cozy cabin in the mountains and a rainy, dreary, icy, dark five months. And that difference is 30 lbs. Yes, that is right, I gained 30 pounds during my year abroad.
Scottish winter days get dark around 3 pm. That was the hardest part for me. I can handle wet, rainy, and icy...but not 19 hours of darkness. Combine the darkness, the cold with steak and ale pie, and the dislike of walking on ice and you have yourself a weight gain fiesta! Not to mention bouts of depression, missing family and friends and not understanding why March was not the beginning of spring...the toll was taken on my thighs and stomach...oh and my face! I look like a balloon, my eyes are almost knocked out of the picture by my fast growing puffy cheeks.
When spring hit, I had already developed awful habits and though I was walking and moving, I was inputting more than I was burning. You mean Subway and Pizza Hut are not ways to lose weight?? What about the Subway guy? Oh, you mean he did not eat a foot long sandy with loads of mayo and cheese? He did not eat Doritos and cookies with his sandwich? Oh come on!
So here I am 30 lbs. and one year later. I spent the last week having to re-buy my wardrobe in sizes 12 and 14...I was an 8 when I left. What is the plan?
Well I recanted on the no diet promise and am embarking on a rigid two week plan through Isogenix...something that includes shakes, and minimal food, plus 4 total cleanse days...yes they are as exciting as they sound...you drink for two days...oh, and you get these things called snacks, they are not real snacks. There are no Doritos, or chocolate, there are some weird tablet that I get eat...blerg.
I am committed. I am doing this. Two weeks of a rigid plan is not the finality of this diet. I have 30 to lose, and I know that is not going to happen in two weeks. I diet until I lose my 30 pounds.
To help in the process, I have my mom and step-dad who are doing the program with me. My step-dad and I decided to compete to see who could lose a greater percentage of their weight. We are both quite competitive people so hopefully this will be the accountability I need.
I think I have tried every gimmick, plan and program there is. I lose weight rather quickly, but keeping it off is the big, and missing, piece of the puzzle. I am the "emotional eater," I eat when I am happy, sad, mad, surprised, astonished,
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